News Spoof: Bob Dylan's Aborted Plan to Kill Osama

Bob Dylan's Secret Plan to Kill Osama -Mark Miller

The U.S. government has just declassified thousands of documents relating to [the Osama Bin Laden hit]. Several of those documents detail suggested Bin Laden attack plans [including this one from] Bob Dylan. 

“Dear Mr. Obama,
How does it feel to be on your own, chasing Bin Laden alone, like a Presidential stone? Speaking of which, every Al Qaeda founder must get stoned. How many caves must a soldier walk down before he can kill him a Bin Laden? The answer is blowin’ in Abbottobad. Who should actually pull the trigger? It ain’t me, babe. He fakes just like a terrorist. And he breaks just like a terrorist. And he makes bombs just like a terrorist. Yes, he does. But he breaks just like a little falafel. Come mullahs and fatwas throughout Iran – don’t criticize what you can’t understand. Your Anoush and Zari are beyond your command. The old Ayatollah’s rapidly fading. Mr. President, I wish there was something you could do or say to try to get Bin Laden to show his face today. He’s done way too much talking anyway. So as far as killing him – don’t think twice; it’s alright.”
[Aish HaTorah]
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